Life as seen through the eyes of.....ME

Like my subject line says, Its about time I write in this thing again. Alot has happened in the last month or so. Most notable is my mother's passing. I miss her all the time. Some mornings I will wake up and want to call my Aunt Debbie's to see how my mom is doing....then I realize that she's gone. I want to talk to her. I want to tell her that I love her and despite the many issues that we had faced she raised me as good as she could have. I take the most comfort right now in being in the house that my mom was in up until the last month of her life. It makes me feel safe to feel her there...even if she isnt there physically. I dont know. I have nothing more to write right now. 

Write later!!!

I Love you mommy........


august 28,1964-september2,2007

....Is great right about now.

Im home again.....

I sleep at Andrews house on weekends.....

All is good :)

So the shock of the past couple of days has subsided.
All that has bothered me is that John was at my house last night even tho he was told he couldnt be there just like me.
I talked to Diane today and she wasnt to happy about the John thing.
Theres a family meeting at 1 on sunday, Ill go there before Andrew goes to work at 3:30. 
Andrew will just have to chill outside for that time.
I went with Hannah to her Docotors in Boston....that was fun.
On a good note today I found some places that are hiring at the mall.....
Im putting apps in......
I am not messing around anymore!

So today was the first day of the rest of my life......
Ill admit it was scary as hell at first. 
I cried in Andrews arms for a good hour or two.
He assured me that the people that are still in my life as we speak are the ones I can trust and not to worry about the ones that have bothered me and my sisters. 
Diane says they are gonna try to get me back to where my sisters are living. 
No promises on it but for sure they arent gonna let me sleep on the streets.
I have a place for about 2 weeks. Hopefully by then we will have an idea about what is going to happen.
I know I dont care to talk to my mother at all. She is soooo self-centered that she hasnt even called me to see if I am staying somewhere safe.
But whatever, The first day of the rest of my life was okay. 
Its looking to be a promising life. 
:)

So charlene is "in love" with this dick of a guy named Jeff. He was in jail for stabbing not one but two people...all in one night mind you. So he was in jail, supposedly until October. Now he's back and even put some cheap 8 dollar ring on her finger. This kid has a colorful past with my sister....And not in a good way. So lets see where this goes this time. My money is on nothing changing.

On a different topic, My last entry was about things going bad. Well on the bank issue they put the 76 dollar overdraft fee back. Yay. But Andrew lost his phone not once but twice in the last couple of days. Luckily we got it back both times. Lucky bastard has a horseshoe rammed up his ass. Things hopefully will quiet down now. But Im betting it wont right away considering Matt (andrew's outreach worker) is mad at him cuz he skipped a group home thing that he was supposed to do. Something about talking about IL and stuff. Andrew only said he would cuz he didnt think he had a choice. He realized he did and it pissed Matt off. Andrew is getting aggravated and Im nervous how it will all turn out. this guy could kick Andrew out of IL. And IL is good for Andrew. Up until he decided not to go tonight Matt said Andrew was making good progress. Matt said that actually 2 days ago. Now its a 180 and Andrew is "immature" and "not ready for IL." All that after one choice. *sigh* Im crossing my fingers and nervously waiting for 11 tomorrow morning. Update you all in the morning before I leave.